Presence

There are details I won’t share but expect you to ask about. Distresses I carry that you don’t need to know. Because it’s safer to keep you in your world where no one has it as bad and to keep me in mine where my agony’s nonexistent.

I’ve buried my brain for ants and beetles to make love to it. Every thought leaves infinite trails.

When you and I cross paths, we misunderstand one another. You mistake what I’ve said for something far more insignificant. I mistake what you mean and become bitter.

I listen to my father. His inner child speaks. He felt his mother’s pulse stop before he was a teen. He neglects me to mask his guilt.

Two years ago, I admitted something to you. Last night, you used it against me. I build my shell again while you ask why I’m so reserved.

I can only play the victim on nights you’re away. I pray for what I already know. The space between us stretches like liquid metal.

I ask my mother if I’m the reason she didn’t leave. She lies to protect me because she can’t from he…