Static

Destroy to create. Worry, worry, worry. Write it down. Panic. Now you have a right to be. The guy behind you in line smirks. Hours later you see him in the news. He murdered someone and tried to throw the body over the bridge but couldn’t. So he wrapped the stranger with a blanket after he shot him and left him there. He’s got the same smirk in his mugshot.

He’s a killer. You were in line with a killer. Life’s scary. Life’s fleeting. You would have been that cold body wrapped in a blanket on the bridge. You’re the same age as the victim. You have the same glasses. You look through photos of the guy. A regular man with a receding hairline who had a lot of friends. Lots of smiles.

Run. Run. Run. You’re here again. Run. Run. Run. You’re back. You got the house. You got the car. You got the career. You still kneel and pray and cry and puke. You still wish for what you shouldn’t. That’ll never change. Stuck in your head. Get out of there. But the world’s scary. The world’s not what you want it to be.

Who will say you were great? Who will mourn? You’re not getting it. Your heart isn’t seen. No one cares how you’ve lived or what you’ve done. Only you do. Choose a reward. Open the box. It’s empty. Where’d it go? What you deserve. What you expect. It doesn’t exist. It never did. Pace and pace. Shout and scream. Calm down. Calmer. Be the calmest you’ve ever been.

Time’s not your friend. Your hair’s falling out. You’ve got more wrinkles. Your face is hollow. It’s harder to get out of bed. Groan and groan. You haven’t found true love. You had that once in college and lost it. You love losing things. Your sanity. Your ambition. Your friends. It’s the one thing you’re good at. Look at everything you have. You still don’t see it. Search and search. Where is it? What you want. It’s here. Look.

People are you. Fragile. Hurting. Growing. They need care. So do you. Gift this to yourself. Wait and wait. Who will save you? Loneliness is rocking on your chair. You’ve outlived your relatives. The ending you dreamed of won’t appear. It’s too late. You’re sad. You’re angry. How you feel right now is how you will die. Not a single thing did it. You remained as you were. Start over. It’s the same. You’re still the same.