The City

Rose bushes. A lack of water. A fence you built. Sturdy. You’re rough. Tough. Superficial. Profound. Choose one or the other. But give me substance. Rocky beaches. Swervy lanes. Stolen items. Misused humans. Misjudged thoughts. Isolate yourself. But tell me what you did. Give me details you shouldn’t. Make me uncomfortable. Shaky. Nauseated. Make me pick this scab. To scratch until I can’t recognize that this is skin. Thin. Graceful. Patterned. Dry. Red. Smooth. Touch me. Every part. These bumps and uneven patches. My hair on your shoulders. The floors. Shedding. Losing the fight that didn’t exist. It’s me versus me. Not me versus you.

A patient spends nights crouching on a glass table. Praying. Waiting. No wanted results. Yet she tries again. Repetition is craziness. Repetition is hope. She sees herself when looking down. Eggshell white dreams. Dingy rooms. She rests for minutes. Years are spent memorizing lines. Rearranging words for people who don’t get her. What matters is what isn’t important. What isn’t important holds too much significance. Wrinkled shirts. Scrapes. Chipped wood. A painting of angels lifting a blanket holding a newborn. The mother, kneeling in a corner. The father, raising his arms. A child sees this and asks questions. Curiosity grows until adulthood. Something strange happens. Answers don’t matter. Nodding. Agreeing. Sitting in the same seat for hours. An eternity of collecting problems and creating more.

Make wishes. Drop a coin in the fountain. Sing. Blink. A light is here. Then it’s there. Now it doesn’t exist. Fold laundry and catch someone watching you through the window. Someone else watches them from across the street. A screen watches you watch others. You can’t make out who you are. Someone is accepted by a crowd. Another is ostracized. You’re in a corner. Thankfulness for being a nobody. For being left alone. The lonely girl eats her TV dinner. She claps when the scene is sad. She cries when they laugh. A victim. And another. Poor girl didn’t have a father. A sex fiend glorifies his crimes. A relative did the same. Continuation. Mixed feelings. Apologies. Sympathy. She’s stripped, screaming on a street. Confused for a worker. The city shuts down. A beggar pets his dog as they fall asleep.