Valerie

Valerie’s within a dark cloud. Pressure flattens her heart, stings her soul. Fear sprints up through her stomach to choke her. She vomits her worries. More enter her body. She spreads happiness to every being except herself. 

She’s living because God’s allowed it. She’s scared of every next breath she must take. She’s scared of her last one. She hasn’t healed. She’s been crying like a newborn. Last week, she sobbed in the closet. Her friend didn’t notice something was off. She again played her role well.

At night, she’s consumed by blame. She’s gentle toward others. She’s poison to herself. She examines herself from the outside. She wants to hold this human. To say that somewhere in this pool of blood is a lesson, an opportunity for growth. But it’s hard to see when swimming through red.

Each day is a beginning and end to madness. She’s uncertain when she’ll be released from this cycle. The morning will arrive, and she’ll tell everyone everything’s great. She’ll keep a smile on for howev…