You Have It Good

You don’t know
how good you have it.
A present father, a selfless mother,
home-cooked meals,
new clothes, a private school,
a Christian neighborhood.

Come be with a
broken man. He’s not
good enough for you,
but he’s reading about
his diagnoses and knows
he’s dissociating.

He can put down
the bottle if you save him.
Cause men want to be saved.
Women want to be held.
No one wants to be
reminded of their upbringing.

There’s a family secret
you don’t yet know.
Your birth parents
are related. They had you
when they were teenagers
and were ashamed.

In ten years, you’ll
meet. You’ll sit inside a
home they don’t own
and lash out for giving you up.
They’ll say to reach out
again when you’re calm.

That time never comes.
They’re still secretly
together. You’re now
secretly exploring
with an older man
who makes you feel special.

Let him be your first.
Let yourself cry because
it was unfamiliar, painful,
beautiful. Then, he’ll leave.
What did you do wrong?
How can you forget this?

Just remember.
You have it good.
You weren’t her;
she bled and woke up
in a bed she hadn’t
ever slept in before.

Her boyfriend’s had
so many partners
he can’t remember them all.
He goes into detail
about his encounters
like violent pornos.

There’s nothing
he hasn’t tried. She’s unsure.
He tells her to relax. She’s
too squeamish. Sex is just sex.
It’s meaningless. That’s sad, she
tells him. Why’s it sad? he asks.

They play out fantasies
like performers. He brings in
another woman. He pays her.
This isn’t intimacy. This isn’t
romance. This is like a meal.
A basic human need.

Pleasure comes from anticipation.
It dissipates once it’s over.
He’s always felt empty. She’s
always felt inferior. Life will continue
as it has. Because no one wants to
replay their childhood and renovate.

Remember how good
you have it. An inbred child
who blends in with society.
The girl next door.
The one who takes it easy
and says please and thank you.

Nothing was ever promised.
Nothing was meant to stay.
You’re still young but want to
grow older. You grow older,
you wish you were younger. You wish
you didn’t understand what’s happening.

Your mother’s divorcing your father.
Your grades are slipping. Your body’s
changing. Your urges are heightening.
You’re reminded to remain good.
You don’t know what good means.
You’ve had premarital sex.

Your church listens. God forgives.
You’re still judged. Your father’s repulsed.
Your mother bathes in blame.
You hate yourself because
you gave it away to a man
who groomed you.

Always remember. You have it good.
There are people who will never
be born again. So bathe in Holy Water.
Honor God. Let the Holy Spirit
offer what you won’t find
on your own in the physical world.